Yes, we are alive. The Pistrix has been deployed to prevent further encroachment, and any and all below sea level access has been blockaded.

So far the casualties have been light save amongst the family - many skins will be finding their way to new owners. The air assault seems to have been focused on Snelling, though what sort of victory they can get out blasting a shed to smithereens escapes me.

The coral castle has taken some damage, mostly along the wall of the grand mezzanine, but nothing that is structurally catastrophic. The tidal harness also took some minor damage before defensive tactics could be employed.

Trimaris is accessible by land and air though heavily guarded, and I have not heard yet from Butterflies.

Date:	2004-09-23 04:08
Subject:	Completely Private Locked
Security:	Public
Mood:	depressed

It's not that I have abandonment issues.

My parents died, which isn't exactly something that was in their control.

I've lost one vassal, and one only stays under durress, even if it's not durress that I'm the source of.

Michael's sailing away.

Rona's in Ireland.

Ricardo's in love with a woman who hates me. We've never dropped out of touch, not even through the various and sundry affairs we've both had with other people, and yet there's a very palpable sense of divide in this.

And I keep waiting for the other shoe to drop with Ronan.

But I don't have abandonment issues.

Who am I kidding?

She loves me because she has to.

She loves her because she wants to.

Yet another reason to be jealous of her.

I find it amusing that Corbin left me for Ryan, and now Ryan's fucking the person that is part of the reason Corbin left me.

How much do I want to bet Corbin will rationalize her behavior and still consider mine the greater of crimes? I wonder if he'll threaten her with a bullet to her skull.

tempest_luthier taped Electric Knights for me, and I just finished watching it. It made me cry.

I'm...not ready to give an opinion on it, especially after sword_joyeuse's analyzation.

Maybe I'm wrong. I hope I'm wrong.

Attended the Pipeline Invitational. Did anyone catch it on ESPN2? I advanced in rank a little, but still didn't hit the top 10. My wildcard invite to the Triple Crown this year is secure though. And I didn't wipe out, though I almost thought I would during that one wave, which took me awful close to the reefs. The parties were also really fly, and danced my panties off. No, I'm not explaining that statement...

Date:	2004-08-31 03:15
Subject:	Online Entry: So much stuff.
Security:	Public
Mood:	relaxed

Where to begin?

The XO of The Pistrix turns out to be an old friend from a few years ago when I went to a competition in Sydney. He is incredibly competent, kind, and alarmingly confidant in his faith in me. Captain Thrump will likely be coming in next week, now that everything's been finalized. Some parts of the whole process have been roughter than others.

There's a new arrival in town. A selkie named Ronan - it's common enough, so no odd thing about that. (Rona's in Ireland, by the way.) He comes to us by way of the Halifax MacKinnons, and it took him quite a few years to get here. Apparently he got sidetracked into the Dreaming for an unexpectedly long time. There's something wierd there that I can't put my finger on. And I find the way he says 'aboot' rather charming.

But speaking of charming personages, somebody owes me lunch now that Miles has been successfully rescued! (Glad to have you back safe and sound, Miles!)

Torwards the end of this week I'll be flying out to Hawaii for the Pipeline invitational. I've been informed that I'm already a wildcard at the Triple Crown, but if I qualify anyway, they'll shift the wildcard to someone else. It's going to air on ESPN2, so those that are interested are free to check out the channel's website for air times.

EK was kind of in an 'ehh' slump for me, but has since picked up. Penny's such a bitch - horning in on Elaine's man and ( spoiler! ) I know I'm a proponent to there being some kind of parallel between the cartoon and our lives here in Santa Cruz, but Penny - enh. I like parts of her, but not enough to...I don't know. We'll see how things go as more is revealed. Certain parts of EK make me rather wistful. And episode 100 looms on the horizon...with singing! How cool is that? I admit, I can't wait to hear 'Princess of Atlantis'. I have a feeling it's going to be somewhat similar to 'Part Of Your World' and 'Going Through The Motions' - that sort of Disney Heroine Power Ballad.

Now if only Michael hadn't decided his tune was 'Standing In Your Way'. His boat will sail out soon, and with him going off and Rona in Ireland...

Date:	2004-08-08 19:56
Subject:	Online Journal: Private Parts
Security:	Public
Mood:	thoughtful

(Locked For The Eyes Of The Following People Only: abcynwel, aculeus, bane_st_john, bikinitroll, bionic_burek, dedeviltails, fidi, fuzzymamma, goblinprince, hair_apparent, hiding_lion, jenny_anydots, ladyoblivious, ritm, sagacitycity, selkiebelle, sword_joyeuse, tempest_luthier, the_jade_moon, tinkersdamn, tj_whittaker, umbradine, unwhacked, urbanchavez, vastydeep, virael, whitestag, zalophus)

I'm not particularly tragic about the fact that I have a penis. And yes, I admit, I'd like to try it out. Sometimes I feel like there's an unspoken stigma against Fiona who might opt to enjoy the company of several. Frankly, as long as you're discreet about it, it's nobody else's business. As a Fiona, I love to love, I enjoy sex, and there's little point being apologetic about it. I don't assume that this attitude is one everyone, even other Fiona, will share, but nor do I feel it is merited for it to be viewed in disdain. Naturally as a Marquessa - err, Marquise, I am particularly subject to scrutiny.

I'm so getting off track. Where was I? Oh, yes. I'd definitely like to experiment with this new equipment of mine, but the key word there is 'new'. I know how I am when I'm having sex as a woman, but as a man, it's a bit like trying to operate heavy industrial equipment when you've never so much as worked a Tonka truck crane lift before in your life. I don't want to hurt someone, particularly not someone I care about.

There's also the issue I've noticed a lot of other people having, which isn't exactly a problem for me, more just objectively confusing. I'm still attracted to men from a - oh, I suppose 'mental' is as good a word as any, frame of perception, because who I am inside is a female. But my body's been reacting to females around me. Well, this is as close to bisexual as I'm likely to get that isn't situationally homoerotic.

Date:	2004-08-05 23:55
Subject:	Online Journal: OMG!
Security:	Public
Mood:	confused

I woke up this morning and went to the bathroom and it wasn't until I was walking back to my bed that I realized I'd peed standing up. O.O

Also,

Trimaris, Trimaris,
Where ladies are the fairest
And barons are the barest
That barons can be.

(thank you, tempest_luthier!)

Must remember to be careful about zipping up my pants - no wait, boardshorts instead...my center of gravity's shifted. Hope I'll still be able to surf.

Date:	2004-08-03 23:09
Subject:	Online Journal: Imbolc
Security:	Public
Mood:	excited

I was worried I admit, but Imbolc was an amazing success. The menu, the stories, the company, and the pleasure of being able to announce the discovery of a balefire for hopelesslady's Fiefdom of Blackberry's, the night went perfectly. Captain Parr made an appearance as well, and she is very much a herald of an exciting future.

Trimaris is growing

The new year has been going rather well. An definite improvement on 2003, though I hope I don't jinx it by saying so.

The tidal harness is coming along beautifully. Leave it to urbanchavez to find the perfect amalgam between function and beauty of form. It'll be a good year of course, before it's ready, but when it does, power will come to Trimaris, and the candle will not only be lit, but burn steadfast.

And that's enough of me gushing like an English major! Classes continue well. I'm very slowly starting to feel like I'm getting my bearings on the march's throne - a lot of it is putting things I've learned into practical application, and not forgetting that I'm not in it alone. There are still slip-ups - I often feel like there are aspects of courtesies that I miss, or should be aware of and yet somehow aren't, but I simply hope that people view me with best intention, as it is how I choose to go about in life - with best intentions.

Gave out gifts last night at Snelling - after the Santa Exchange of course, and I must admit giving out gifts is more fun for me then getting them (not that I don't love getting them!). I'm only waiting to hear ravensberg's reaction to my gift to Bramble, but summarily, I can't wait to see him in them. Hmmmm, mystery!

The Christmas Day Breakfast was splendid. Quite a few people showed, and despite how loudly he complained, Jacob was in his element. I swear, that boggan could go on Iron Chef and totally kick Sakai's ass.

There's a wave calling with my name on it!

Date:	2004-06-27 21:22
Subject:	Online Journal: Attention - just_alais
Security:	Public

I found this quote off the storypeople.com website, and it made me think of you:

If I was a spider princess, she said, I would spin webs the color of sky & catch drops of sunlight to give to children who watch too much TV & then everyone would remember to come outside to play. If I was a spider princess, she said, things would be different.

He was always someone I could talk to.

I drank to him in McCann's the other night. I didn't know what else to do.

It's not right. It's not fair.

It never is.

I swear to God, if one more person blinks at me in confusion, talks to me slowly like I'm a kid on the special bus, or sighs as if they want to pat my head and call me a poor slow child, I'm going to skewer something with my trident. If you think something I said was stupid or incorrect, instead of making me feel like a dumb-ass, why don't you point out how I might be in error? Plzkthnx.

Date:	2004-06-17 04:27
Subject:	Online Journal: Untitled
Security:	Public
Mood:	okay

Problem with Amanda is finally sorted out; enter new problem: Kate. With the help of bane_st_john, we're seeing that taken care of. Kate's a bit of a wreck, skittish as all get out, but I think with time we'll see some spine come through.

Abigail and Jonathan are just lovely, but these weird...dissonant? memories make me feel like my mind is itching, only I can't scratch the inside of my own skull.

It seems that Odysseus has landed on Circe's island - I got a nasty letter from her not long ago.

I still owe Li, Evelyn, and Jenny a trip to Napa Valley so that we can pay homage to Bacchus in suitable style. I think I'll arrange for a driver so I can tipple a bit as well.

Alright, this entry is starting to seem a little too ADD for my tastes, so we'll stop here.

( OOC: This is a really whiny, really depressed entry. I'm offering fair warning and a tag because I know not everyone likes to see this sort of self indulgent melodrama. And yes, it IS self indulgent melodrama. )

Marquessa sticks her foot in her mouth.

Film at 11.

It's been a while since I've posted, as Trimaris was in a scramble with Amanda gone missing. We found her, and she's recuperating at here. Everyone who participated in aiding her has my utmost thanks.

More turmoil over my major, as I simply can't decide what to do with myself. Michael would kill me if I withdrew, but I can't think of something to focus on. Theater's out, enviro-sci and marine bio were too hard, and the problem with Lit is that while I'm interested in the materials I like, you couldn't get me to pry open the rest of the required reads with a crowbar. Why can't I just surf at competitions and teach for the rest of my life? Nnggh. That won't fly with my family. I'm at my wits end on this. Bah.

I am starting to wonder if I'll continue to recieve correspondences from Ulysses up through the time when he'd actually reach Ithaca. And then...will he swim up onto the shores of Trimaris? Or will I recieve no further word, and content myself with knowing he did come upon his Penelope and rescued her from her suitors? The Fiona in me yearns for love like that, but I have been taught by a cruel hand not to presume upon the possibility.

However, in the meantime, I am enjoying the occaisional evening drinks and conversation (as opposed to tea and sympathy? -- weird literary joke there, except it isn't, really), and will be doing it again soon.

I've started working out with the trident, trying to understand how to use it in combat. My video copies of the newest EK episodes, 'Gladiator', and a few other movies have been quite helpful, and I'm starting to puzzle out a few moves myself. The trident said it would like to be at hand more often, and something about it made me wonder...if perhaps it has a hand in my life before.

Redid sagacitycity's quiz, am still Penny. Surprise, surprise.

Got a scarf from ladyoblivious! It matches one of my favorite sweaters, too. Yay Jan's mad knitting skillz!

Can't think of anything else - oh! Met a nocker, Victor. I'm already pretty impressed with his mad skillz, but I'll be super duper hella impressed if his work on paper translates well for real.

That's the second time I said skillz. And now, the third. Time for me to dash before this turns into some kind of crazy freeform unconscious writing excercise like they made me do junior year of high school.

You are PENNY! You have a really neat trident and
probably like swimming and flirting with the
guys. You're probably a princess or something.


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